6 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT PICKING UP ASIAN CHICKS

My favorite Asian friend, Woo, left Chicago for Virginia, and since I'm into diversity and intersectional feminism, I'm in the market for a new Asian BFF.  I started with some research on how to pick up my new Asian BFF and stumbled on Kristina Wong's How to Pick Up Asian Chicks--a YouTube web series where Asian American women review self-published books written by white men on how to pick up Asian women. Holy shit.

HOW I STOPPED HATING ROMANCE AND EMBRACED KILT SEX WITH OUTLANDER

Confession: I used to be a hater. In my twenties, I got hung up on being the “cool girl” who could hang with the guys all night crushing PBR tall boys, stuffing every variety of bacon-flavored food down my face-hole while watching sports, and rolling my eyes at chick stuff like Grey’s Anatomy. I was ‘above’ anything I considered overtly girly or “chick lit,” priding myself on being unsentimental. I hate-watched The Notebook and basically did my own Mystery Science Theater 3000 routine throughout the movie, mocking anyone who loved it. When it came to movies, television, and fiction, I eschewed romance for dark comedy, sci-fi, and action. In college, I used to say that the most romantic movie ever made was Sid & Nancy because EVERYONE LOOK AT HOW EDGY I AM.

YOU WERE ON A BREAK (A NIGHT WITH MY EX RECAP)

Courtney tells us that for a relationship to work you need trust, loyalty, and great sex. She says that Nick is amazing and he has this great swag about him like Obama and 100% YES AGREED. If Obama was a tall ass white male nurse with a nose that shouldn’t work, but does, then Nick is that guy.