HOW TO MAKE KICK ASS VIDEOS FOR ALMOST ZERO DOLLARS

So you wanna make internet videos! Neat! But you don't have a pot to piss in? PERFECT. Don't fear, financially challenged friends, I'm gonna tell you how to make all your digital video production dreams come true on the cheap.

Here's what you need:

CAMERA

Cameras can be expensive and like you mentioned before, you don't have a pot to piss in. But chances are you have a supercomputer aka smartphone shoved in your bra right this very second. I started my web series Life of the Pahty! with $130 and an iPhone 5s. I remember feeling very imposter syndrome-y about that, like “I can’t have a web series without a $2,000 camera!” Bullshit. Everyone will watch your videos on their phone anyway, so you might as well make it with one. Save that $2,000 for something fun and whimsical, like rent.

TRIPOD

Whatever you do, do not stack up a bunch of books and try to set your phone on it and film yourself. You will only drop your phone and end up in a puddle of tears on your bathroom floor. Buy a tripod instead. Amazon has them for $23.49. I like the 60 inch Ravelli, it’s lightweight and comes with its own bag. Oh and if you are using your phone don’t forget to get an adapter for a smooth $7.95

LIGHT

Next, take the shades off all of your lamps bought on clearance at Target or snag a LED light for $32.99. The other option is to film during the day. Because if your audience can’t see what’s the fucking point?

MICROPHONE

Nobody wants to hear the muffled sounds of your neighbor’s tantric lovemaking in the background of your video. Get a microphone. I use the Rode Lavalier mic. For $67.92 it connects to your smartphone. You’ll now need 2 smartphones, borrow from a friend or use an old deactivated phone. You probably have one with a cracked screen in your junk drawer right now, I’ll wait while you go check….I pop that lil lav on my lapel or set it somewhere close to me in a scene and bam, crisp, clear audio free from Sting inspired boinking.

EDITING SOFTWARE

Speaking of editing, do you know how to edit? No? That's cool, neither did I and look at me now! Regardless of whatever editing software you decide to use there is a pimply 13 year old boy on YouTube ready to teach you how to use it. Take yourself to the University of Google It, I did and people actually pay me to edit their videos now. I started with iMovie but upgraded to Premiere Pro after I learned a thing or two. Check out Justin Odisho for PP tutorials, his lessons are clear, concise and he has completed puberty.

Last but not least, be sure to have a few bottles of wine on reserve and a fuckload of patience. You will screw up, something will go wrong and you will run completely out of patience making your first video. That’s what the wine is for. But it will get easier and you will get better with each new video that you make. Unless you suck at it.

And there you have it. Everything you need to be the next Kathryn Bigelow of YouTube.

*I do not receive compensation from the companies I linked to. If you found this information helpful, feel free to hop on over to Patreon and support the videos that I make.